The rest of my trip....Statesboro and Savannah

AHHHHH vacations...they are the best! Some may not think that Statesboro ranks up there as far as dream destinations....and granted there isn't a whole hell of a lot to "do" there....unless you hang with the right crew....like Beth and Rachel....as Russian spies. My whole vacation was spent talking like a Russian spy...or like Natasha (from Rocky and Bullwinkle)...I don't know why..but it was highly amusing for all involved :)

But I get ahead of myself....the worst part about Statesboro is the coming and going parts.....they take FOREVER...but there are parts from Augusta to the Boro that are pretty scenic if you dig the whole rural south Georgia scene.

My co-pilot kind of zonked out on the journey....he would occasionally stick his nose out the window if I was going slow enough. And then of course there's the acres upon acres of peanuts or soy or cotton....

There were lots of board games and many laughs....and we got to go LETTERBOXING!!!! If you don't know what letterboxing is....there's a website you can visit...www.letterboxing.org that allows you to input your location and gives you a list of clues or directions to boxes (like THOUSANDS) nationwide that people have hidden. Inside the boxes you find a stamp and a book...you stamp your stamp in the book from the letterbox and then stamp the letterbox stamp into your book. I've tried before....but with no success...and we actually went to three places but we could only find 1 box. It's ok though....totally worth the bug bites and furtive darting into the Georgia Southern woods after dark. We looked sketch...but we brought Bernie along to ward off invaders or attackers.....and to get him out and about....the box we found was called 6 Flags over Statesboro...


Beth and Rach are work at Georgia Southern....and they're grad students...I don't know how they do it...but they love it! We would meet everyday at noon for lunch....but deciding where to go was always the toughest :) Beth's office is kind of a dungeon, though. No windows....and LOTS of crap everywhere...but she's pretty important down there in the Russell Union :)

I apologize to Beth....I know you're blurry....getting the 2 of u to hold still is IMPOSSIBLE!

Then on Thursday we got to Savannah!!! It's one of my favorite places....so sleepy and seductive and Southern. Our first destination was The Cupcake Emporium.....where they sell.....CUPCAKES!

Then we had to drive across town to go buy Beth a real bed...since apparently she'd been sleeping on an air mattress that makes thunderous fart noises (Rach's description not mine) since they'd moved in in May....I didn't know how appropriate it would be to photograph us testing out the mattresses...but Beth did snag a SWEET little Sealy lamb since she bought a bed...
And here are some pics from the drive...and that low hanging moss is part of the reason I love this city.

Let's take this show on the road ya'll!!!

So one of the perks of growing up and having a "real" job...you get paid vactions! Bernie and I went home to my parents' house for a few days...Bernie loves Grandma and Grandpa's house....no rules...good food...backyard...and all the kitty butt he can sniff...


I guess the good thing is that Maggie doesn't really care about Bernie...she's definitely not afraid of him...she's just jealous of his youth and mobility.



Sunday morning breakfast is always a big deal at Grandma's house...we had beignets!!! For those of you unfortunate enough NOT to know what a beignet is...it's kind of like a doughnuts sexy French cousin....oui oui! Fried dough with powdered sugar...who could ask for more? Needless to say...the official taste-tester enjoyed them as well...

Random goings on...

It's been a hot minute since I last posted....I apologize...I haven't had anything particularly inspiring to say....

Except that Brett Favre needs to retire...once and for all....once I get a Harry Potter wand...I will come up with a spell to convince him it's just time...sheesh...is he ever gonna learn how terrible and egotistical all this makes him look?

It's just time...you know?

And Stephon Marbury...smoking weed in your car and thinking it's ok because you're not driving...or on a team...uhhh weed is still ILLEGAL...what a distorted perception of reality!

And then there's Plaxico Burress...dude shoots himself in his own dang leg and gets suspended for the whole season...I mean I understand that he should be punished for bringing a loaded handgun into a public area....yadda yadda yadda...it could've gone off and killed an innocent bystander. HE SHOT HIMSELF....IN THE LEG....a leg he uses in his job to run...which doesn't matter anyway this year because he's suspended but DANG! I think shooting yourself and being publicly ridiculed should be considered at lest partial punishment.

In the news you read all the time about how these professional athletes have really jacked up perceptions of reality and monumental senses of entitlement. Combine the two and that's how you get the aforementioned cases not to mention countless others. The thing is though, that these two things are not a singular problem with professional sports...it starts in middle school and high school and only progresses with time. Anyone who's ever known anyone who would have been called a "star athlete" growing up can vouch first-hand how these individuals are coddled by coaches and communities.

Until they get cut from their teams and have no jobs....no completed educational background...and no real prospects outside the athletic world....you could almost feel bad for them....and then you realize they signed million dollar contracts...and you feel somewhat mollified...HASTA LUEGO!!

You know...so you can have something else on there besides you bitching....

Thanks Ma! Since my hormone-fueled rants aren't entertaining enough...I'm blogging about what I made for dinner today. I get REALLY bored with the same broiled chicken and rice and beans. Perhaps it's the gemini in me seeking change. The thing is, when I was growing up, my mom wanted us to try new foods and dishes and restaurants and I never wanted to. But, after several years of brainwashing by the Food Network, I've gotten a little more funky in my food choices...I love to try new twists on classics. Like this mac and cheese. It's based off of Ina Gartens "Grown Up Macaroni and Cheese" recipe. Without the bleu cheese, because I don't like the idea of hot bleu cheese. This is what it looked like once it was all assembled....right before it went into the oven.
About one Family Guy episode later....Out came this bubbling, gooey, cheesy, yummy smelling concoction!

I had to wait a few minutes for it to cool...and Bernie HATES waiting for food. Can't you just see him saying, "Hurry up with the good stuff woman!". Oh, by the way, I feed him table food. He gets a little bit of everything I eat except chocolate and soda. I know, I'm the total anti-Cesar Milan. But I don't care.

TAAAHHH DAAAAAHHHH! And it has bacon in it! Bernie's favorite (and a high-ranking one on my list!)

And...like any good taste-tester....here's my little boy enjoying his mac and cheese!

HA HA HA!

That's my little boo boo! Bernie....Bernie Bunda...a true lady killer. When he's not getting mistaken for being a girl. I like him when he's got longer hair like in the title. But since it's summer...and he's an active little snot...I shaved him way down so he could be more comfortable. This is what he looks like now.

How the hell are all the ugly chicks hitched up?

Ok so admittedly, the title is mean. Every day I get on facebook, there's somebody else from college or high school that's getting married. And I know I've told a lot of people I don't want to get married...and that's still mostly true. I am not anti-marriage...I am anti-the-necessity-of-marriage. It's kind of like the ultimate form of romanticism I suppose. Two people in love enough that they don't need marriage. Yeah yeah...I know....very rosy. Anyway...back to the random ass topic at hand.

I am not anti-marriage. There were girls...and we all know atleast 5....that you could just tell...ALL they wanted in life was to be married and procreate. If they had to get a job to support that habit then so be it....but careers are not the main priority. Marriage and thusly children are the order of the day. THOSE women, you expect to get married. You see their Facebook status and you're not surprised.

But it's the ones that you saw in school that you thought, "Hmmmm...she's one of the ones with a 'great personality' types". I don't want to sound like I'm hating on the less than aesthetically fortunate. Everyone has a right to be happy (or sexlessly bored, depending on who you talk to), and if marriage fulfills a longing instilled from infancy then kudos. I just want to know HOW they do it.

How do they get a man to propose to them? Are they using sexual tricks from some book I have yet to read? (If so, Stef please use your discount to procure said manuscript...jk mom...sorta) Are they beguiling in the beginning and then demanding and the men are too weak to say no? Or, dare I say it, are they just truly happy in love? The Disney princess in me wants to say yes. The jaded shrew in me wants to say "they took a look around and this is the best they can hope to do".

I just don't get it. I'm funny (or at least my mom thinks so!). I'm smart (book smart....I've been perpetually reminded of my lack of common sense). I'm independent, so no gold-digging here. I'm somewhat relatively attractive. My ego doesn't want to admit that there may be something wrong with me....so WHY HASN'T ANYONE PROPOSED TO ME?

This isn't even a discussion on the men...I know I'm attracted to men who can be as commitment-phobic and change friendly as I am. This is about HOW the women do it. I'd at least like to have the opportunity to formulate an awkward no.

I think we all need to re-evaluate our problems....

Times are tough. Money is tight. And people consider themselves lucky to just have a steady full-time job with benefits. With this in mind...it never ceases to amaze me how screwed up people's priorities and sense of problems can be. It's kind of like how 5 years ago those rap songs came out about "having huge rims on your car that's a piece of s*** and still living at home with yo mama".

I suppose it boils down to everybody's unending desire to out-"own" their neighbors. We all want faster, sexier, sleeker, more, better. But WE CAN'T AFFORD IT! Let's all take a step back and think about what's really important. If you got jacked up teeth, roots showing from the dye-job you had 4 months ago, hole-y underwear (guilty!), or children who rely on you for sustenance, then please get yo s***in LINE! If you have to stop and think "Hmmmmm, if I buy this thing I don't need....are they gonna shut my electricity off?" Walk away!

I don't understand these people I see with big ass gold chains, or expensive (if they're real) handbags, or nice cars, and then their clothes are stained, they've got no underwear on and you know it because you can see the cellulite on their butt, their mouths are in serious need of several thousand dollars worth of orthodontic work, and they smell like old cheese. I guess that kinda relates back to the idea of the magic mirror....they think if they have 1 really nice thing that it elevates everything else by association.

I'm guilty of coveting nice stuff. I feel like I deserve it. I can't afford it, and I'm not really into the whole sugar-daddy thing (probably because I haven't found one), so it's a source of frustration for me too. I keep telling myself that one day I'll be able buy them guilt-free....but until that day...I'll just drool from afar.

My biggest vice in this department is definitely designer panties. Ick. I just typed the word "panties" AAAAWWWWKKKKWWWAAAARRRDDD! Anyway, I have a serious thing for VS underwear. I don't know why. I'm not going to try to explain it. It's very difficult for me to let go of these. I've spent hundreds of dollars over the years for UNDERWEAR. Things you wear UNDER your clothes. Since I've been living on my own, I've had to forego the fancy panties. I thought I was going to impress myself and go frugal one day. I was in Wal-Mart, and I passed through the underwear section, and I thought "I need some new undies". So I looked on the racks and I can't believe how cheap the panties are! You can get 6 pairs for like $5! I couldn't find any that I liked. They were all really bright or had ice cream and teddy bears on them, and I'm too sophisticated for that :). I finally found some....simple.....pastel....perfect. I get them home thinking how proud I was that I crossed into "generic" panty-land and I realize the DAMN THINGS ARE A SIZE 2X!!! HA!! I take this as a sign and decide I shall return to buying my VS panties.

Things I don't understand and therefore dislike about the world today

Since I'm popping my blogger cherry....I feel I should warn those reading this (which will probably only be my mother) that I am generally not a hateful person. GENERALLY..... I am, unfortunately, not always clever either, but I think I have a pretty good eye for stuff that doesn't quite jive. I think I get that from my mom....thanks mom....no ignorance is bliss here.

I have noticed lately that a lot of people out there seem to go around not caring how they look. I get that teenagers have more important things to worry about (like pimple cream and who they will swap spit with). But I just can't wrap my head around what motivates people to go around looking like utter crap. I have a theory that someone is selling mirrors...magic mirrors....when you look into them, you automatically think "Man, I look HOT!" no matter what you're wearing. The people who go around with that "I-don't-give-a-s***-and-that-makes-me-cool" look must have invested in such mirrors. You know you have seen people that own these mirrors. If you have not, then people think you own one.

I saw two girls today who had dyed bright purple chunks in their hair. Why? Because they like purple. And they have those magic mirrors. I can just see them standing in front of the mirror, "Yeah....yeah...that's great...that's hot...I'm so glad I thought to put this random geometric chunk of Barney jizz in my hair...it makes me so different and expressive".

If you wear white....please invest in some flesh colored underwear. Please. Sometimes I wonder if the women I see wearing a bright pink lacy thong are advertising or just blind. I will give them the benefit of the doubt and assume they are advertising. If you don't want people to judge you, don't give them the opportunity. Who knows? Maybe her panty peek got her a discount.....on flesh-colored panties.

I think I've menstrually ranted enough for one entry.